Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Ozymandias

Tin Man

That boy I went to high school with—the one who stabbed his father fifty times—the one found not guilty of murder, by reason of insanity—the man committed to a hospital for the rest of his life—Jonathan—

He recently got permission to leave the grounds, unsupervised—and what can I say—I'm glad for him.

Maybe, if you'd sat with him in honors English—captained by the supremely competent Mrs. Thompson—you'd feel the same. He was so smart, you see. Not book smart, like I was, but smart smart, like that entire first row of upper-class aces. He was the rare kid who thought for himself. (Which begs the question: when did the thoughts start thinking for him?) But he was also unassuming and shy, which if you were a teenage girl, you could sort of take and run with. (For instance—I once had a year-long crush on a boy who never opened his mouth—I saw him the other day, and smiled).

But this wasn't shyness. It was something else. Something so silent and creeping that none of us saw it for what it was—certainly not us second-rowers, with our heads-down balk before Shelley and Shakespeare ("Jonathan, could you help us out here?" Mrs. Thompson might ask, after a pause, perseveringly).

My friend, half in love with him, dubbed him "Legs," for short—she especially enjoyed watching him run track—he was a middle-of-the-pack, middle-distance sort—and how does that seem like the strangest part of this whole, strange affair? 

The valedictorian and the murderer. Both overflowing with that youthful, bright magic we mark as potential.

The valedictorian, my friend, whom I haven't talked to in twenty years—but who I know, thanks to Google, is now a primary care doctor with a master's degree in public health—has not come back to our little town. Saving the world makes one busy. Yes, Jenny met her destiny, chin to the stars.

But once, we were all huddled in that English class, haltingly discussing our Ozymandias and our Lady Macbeth, squinting at the tissue-thin pages of the Nortons in front of us, skimming the text for examples of symbolism and foreshadowing, ticking off syllables to grasp a mysterious force called iambic pentameter

Our hearts in the grip of such fear and hope.




4 comments:

Charles Gramlich said...

Fascinating characters. gotta admit, I did less analyzing of writing when I was in English class.

Aniket Thakkar said...

You read these stories, you watch the news, but you almost never get to see or feel the human side of it.

I don't think anyone grows up wanting to be a murderer. I don't know Jonathan's story. I don't know what he deserves, and what he doesn't.

But when most of the world might hate him for what he has done, I'm glad someone like you is rooting for him to make his wrongs right.

Like we now accept that Homosexuality is not a matter of choice, there is a sect in Japan who wants Pedophilia to be seen in the same light. How a human mind works is such a complex thing. Who knows how helpless Jonathan might have felt to his thoughts. Thoughts he couldn't control. Only, thing I can be sure of is I have no grounds to judge.

Sarah Hina said...

Charles, I was a mouse in English class.

Aniket, I think these are uncomfortable, interesting dilemmas that lead us straight to neuroscience, and the idea of free will vs. genetic fate. With Jonathan, I truly believe he was helpless before his illness. Which isn't to excuse what he did, but I think we should be more interested in rehabilitation than in punishment. I hope medication has genuinely helped him. It will always be a terrible shame that what he might have been, and what his dad might have been, were both destroyed on that horrible day.

Very jarring to reflect on how he was before. Or how I perceived him to be, at least.

pak muliadi said...


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KAMI SEKELUARGA MENGUCAPKAN BANYAK TERIMA KASIH ATAS BANTUANNYA MBAH , NOMOR YANG MBAH BERIKAN/ 4D SGP& HK SAYA DAPAT (350) JUTA ALHAMDULILLAH TEMBUS, SELURUH HUTANG2 SAYA SUDAH SAYA LUNAS DAN KAMI BISAH USAHA LAGI. JIKA ANDA INGIN SEPERTI SAYA HUB MBAH_PURO _085_342_734_904_ terima kasih.الالله صلى الله عليه وسلموعليكوتهله صلى الل


KAMI SEKELUARGA MENGUCAPKAN BANYAK TERIMA KASIH ATAS BANTUANNYA MBAH , NOMOR YANG MBAH BERIKAN/ 4D SGP& HK SAYA DAPAT (350) JUTA ALHAMDULILLAH TEMBUS, SELURUH HUTANG2 SAYA SUDAH SAYA LUNAS DAN KAMI BISAH USAHA LAGI. JIKA ANDA INGIN SEPERTI SAYA HUB MBAH_PURO _085_342_734_904_ terima kasih.الالله صلى الله عليه وسلموعليكوتهله صلى الل