tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2133579337316674953.post5080509959428885695..comments2023-11-17T03:52:12.782-05:00Comments on murmurs: NumbSarah Hinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13888406261817690010noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2133579337316674953.post-39905460823812122102008-08-21T00:28:00.000-04:002008-08-21T00:28:00.000-04:00I was afraid that was how it ended, but I wanted t...I was afraid that was how it ended, but I wanted to believe I had misinterpreted.Sheri Perl-Oshinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08025716805041579831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2133579337316674953.post-44871533764260481262008-08-19T05:26:00.000-04:002008-08-19T05:26:00.000-04:00Oh God, this is a brutal, brilliant piece.Oh God, this is a brutal, brilliant piece.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2133579337316674953.post-15662611804604573602008-08-18T22:33:00.000-04:002008-08-18T22:33:00.000-04:00Thanks, Ello. Your understandable revulsion at the...Thanks, Ello. Your understandable revulsion at the subject matter, though, is exactly what I wrestle over when writing these more painful pieces. Are they worth writing? I guess, if they still contain some truth to make us empathize. <BR/><BR/>Hotwire, that means a lot to me for you to say so. <BR/><BR/>Sheri, I don't think she made it. I think she was too broken to believe she could ever put herself back together again. And that is a tragedy. All she needed was one person to stop her, or make her feel worthy of life. <BR/><BR/>Ruth, thank you for that, my friend. I wanted to save her, too.Sarah Hinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13888406261817690010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2133579337316674953.post-85937092283583022712008-08-18T18:26:00.000-04:002008-08-18T18:26:00.000-04:00I just want to wrap her up and take her home. How ...I just want to wrap her up and take her home. How you make me care about your broken ones.<BR/><BR/>Ruth (easywriter)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2133579337316674953.post-25470098764162639252008-08-17T22:37:00.000-04:002008-08-17T22:37:00.000-04:00OMG Sarah! This was very intense and disturbing. Y...OMG Sarah! This was very intense and disturbing. You captured the horrific act, encapsulating it in your words and dashes and stutters. The way you flowed between flashback and present seemed effortless and created one, sad, frightening picture.<BR/><BR/>Did she survive? Or did she lay down on the train tracks to die? I wasn't sure.Sheri Perl-Oshinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08025716805041579831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2133579337316674953.post-3247303025288542102008-08-13T20:31:00.000-04:002008-08-13T20:31:00.000-04:00not sure that i have any other adjectives that are...not sure that i have any other adjectives that are any different than have been used already. devistating. gripping. among the best things i've read in a long while.Steve Hhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05298219742968828262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2133579337316674953.post-56127069486423918282008-08-13T11:57:00.000-04:002008-08-13T11:57:00.000-04:00Oh my gosh how horrifying! You have devastated me ...Oh my gosh how horrifying! You have devastated me with this story. So powerful. I almost hate this piece because it was so torturous. But that is the power that you wield. It's heartbreakingly well written. You are such a phenomenal writer.Ello - Ellen Ohhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311917335471167591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2133579337316674953.post-10382478815121068172008-08-12T15:28:00.000-04:002008-08-12T15:28:00.000-04:00Lena, it is awful that people should be made to su...Lena, it is awful that people should be made to suffer like this. And not just the rape. I imagined Josie's life as being broken all around. And without love and support, it is so hard to heal. <BR/><BR/>I'm sorry if this piece was difficult for you. It wasn't pleasant to write, either. But thank you for letting me know that it reached you.Sarah Hinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13888406261817690010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2133579337316674953.post-47030880407390525282008-08-12T15:23:00.000-04:002008-08-12T15:23:00.000-04:00Chris, thank you for that. :) I really do apprecia...Chris, thank you for that. :) I really do appreciate your encouragement and support. <BR/><BR/>I still believe that one of these vignettes--or a string of them--may inspire a novel someday. I just don't want to jump into something before I'm ready to see it through. I've done that enough in the past. It has to be a concept so compelling that I can't imagine not doing it. And so far, that lightning hasn't struck.<BR/><BR/>I really am glad you were so moved by this vignette. I do think, however, that if I were to dive into such a heartrending story like this for the length of a novel, it would be destructive to me personally. I don't want to write with blinders on to the ugliness in the world, but nor do I want to swim in its murkier depths for a year or more. <BR/><BR/>Anyway, I do appreciate what you said, Chris. And I'm glad that you've seen the kind of growth in my writing that I have strove for. That's the greatest feedback I could hope for!Sarah Hinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13888406261817690010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2133579337316674953.post-81400605850229244902008-08-12T04:42:00.000-04:002008-08-12T04:42:00.000-04:00that was so tough to read, so overfilled with emot...that was so tough to read, so overfilled with emotions and made me feel so empty in the end. Why things are happening this way? Why do people have to suffer.<BR/>You created such a tension that i was scared to read till the end, your words are too powerful i guess.Lenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09787400183444796423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2133579337316674953.post-83318238743856852412008-08-11T23:24:00.000-04:002008-08-11T23:24:00.000-04:00Sarah, this is gripping. I don't think I've ever b...Sarah, this is gripping. I don't think I've ever been so emotionally vested in such a short piece. Ditto everything Aine said. <BR/>I felt as if I were there somehow. This is uncompromising and brutal, but also tender. I don't know how you pulled all of these emotions together in a few paragraphs, but you did.<BR/><BR/>This should be part of a YA story. You have so many excellent writings all over your blog, and many with a theme---I wish you could somehow tie a few of these together.<BR/><BR/>I remember reading your entry into that contest last year--forgot what it was called, but I remember you made it far. That writing was good, but your writings on your blog are far superior, in my opinion.<BR/><BR/>This is the one.Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11794946908789120139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2133579337316674953.post-39968868733673627082008-08-11T14:59:00.000-04:002008-08-11T14:59:00.000-04:00I'm glad I pissed you off, Aine. ;) I must have do...I'm glad I pissed you off, Aine. ;) I must have done something right...<BR/><BR/>In all honesty, this was tough to write. Thankfully, I've never experienced such a terrible violation. But I think such an act would be likely to shatter someone already so fragile. I saw Josie as just wanting the pain to end. Taking the most desperate escape route possible, in the daze of the moment. <BR/><BR/>It's funny, Jason, because in re-reading this today, I actually thought I could have done more with the train element. I felt like it wasn't quite sensory or forbidding enough. But I'm glad you felt some of that force.<BR/><BR/>My stomach still drops when trains rumble by. It's an acknowledgment of unrelenting power, I suppose. And how small we are in its wake. <BR/><BR/>Thanks, Sameera. :) These aren't easy pieces to read, or write. But I'm glad you were swept up in the grittier emotions of the story.Sarah Hinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13888406261817690010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2133579337316674953.post-46218305633396839182008-08-11T13:00:00.000-04:002008-08-11T13:00:00.000-04:00Her plight is heartrending,could feel her pain.And...Her plight is heartrending,could feel her pain.And what a nail-biting finish,my heart literally came to a standstill!<BR/><BR/>Awesome imagery,as usual :)Sameera Ansarihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05249126041067834608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2133579337316674953.post-80167111245498175452008-08-11T11:56:00.000-04:002008-08-11T11:56:00.000-04:00I'll echo Aine's sentiments. Excellent portrayal....I'll echo Aine's sentiments. Excellent portrayal.<BR/><BR/>My favorite element, the one which really leapt off the page with a jaw-dropping reality, was your description of the train approaching. Man, that was good. It tapped straight into my memories of trains and made my heart race to scramble away from the tracks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2133579337316674953.post-17534764408040848992008-08-11T11:52:00.000-04:002008-08-11T11:52:00.000-04:00Oh God. This was really good (though painful)! A...Oh God. This was <I>really</I> good (though painful)! Amazing details, perfect pacing (IMHO), and told with just-right tension.<BR/><BR/>The anger that I feel after reading this is so sharp, as if Josie is real. This cuts at the heart of my values. It brings out the advocate in me-- I want to destroy the perpetrators: the prom date (of course), the Mom (for not teaching Josie to be strong and confident), her Dad (for not loving her and respecting her as a fellow human regardless of gender), and society (for allowing sex to be such an issue).'<BR/><BR/>Yikes-- that's how well you wrote this.Ainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08402176500997528105noreply@blogger.com