Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Yellow No. 1 & 2

The frank, open face
of the daffodil,

replicating itself
in thickets and glades

like someone cloned
his own happiness

but forgot to turn
the sequencer off

A childish trick
that nonetheless

loosens my grudge,
bit by bit,

until it's lanced,
sliding down the blade

of this buttery, lovely
happy thing


Every breath,
my dandelion wish

to be swept up
by whim or lark

and disassembled,
sold for parts

to any puzzle
in search of a piece 

like this grass,
that leaf

the eyelash on
your cheek


Aniket Thakkar said...

No points for guessing which one I liked more of 1 & 2.

The last two lines of 2 are just my kinda flirty. :)

Did you take the pic too? It looks like it has one hand up saying 'Me! Me! Pick Me!'

Do you wonder, why you just don't do this more often? Take a pic, write a few lines and bless the lesser folks with your words?

Charles Gramlich said...

I'm starting to see dandelions here, and rabbits nibbling at clover.

Sarah Hina said...

Aniket, I have to build demand. That way, I make the big bucks.

I've been writing fragments every day. They're just sitting there, in my notebook, waiting for some time to cook. Sometimes I throw these things up, come back around a month or so later, and think, hmm. That wasn't done yet.

But since you asked . . . I obliged.

I like 1 better. And yeah, I took the pic. Years ago now.

Charles, they're all over the place here.

Aniket Thakkar said...

Bucks.. shmucks.

Where can I find your recycle bin? I like uncooked

You don't want to lose your notebook, the way Jenny did her mug, do you? DO you?

Okay, I want to learn, hence the question -

Each time I read the second one, I just put the "on" from second last line to the last line. Am I missing the rhythm here? Was there a particular trick you followed like syllable counting or something?

the walking man said...

Very nice piece of impressionist writing Sarah---let the dandelions alone for just a bit and then a single breath will bear them on the breeze.

Sarah Hina said...

Aniket, if ever I lose my notebook, I'll just wait for the universe to return it to me. Worked for Jennifer, didn't it?

As for your question...I honestly don't have a good reason for the rhythmic/word choices I make. I sort of wish I had a system I could fall back on. In this particular instance, I think I wanted "your cheek" to sound a little unfinished or fragmented. Almost like your breath catches. It still needs completing. You need to make a wish.

Damn. That sounded almost logical. Don't worry, I won't make a habit of it.

Mark, I love the little guys. There's more magic in a raggedy dandelion than any store-bought rose.

I hope you've been well, my friend.

Aniket Thakkar said...

Fine! Keep your secrets to yourself!

You folks put wayy to much faith the workings of the universe. It keeps guys like me in business.

I have my eyes on that notebook.

Sarah Hina said...

Good. Then I have nothing to fear!

Stephen Parrish said...

You had me at buttery.

Sarah Hina said...

Good, because I'm stealing your book title.

Magyar said...

one dandelion
pushes through a crack
this tarmac

__Our objective, our will; that dandelion's pluck can push us through. _m