The imagery is vivid and even though I can't see the picture when I'm at work, I don't need it. Sometimes, a few words, one or three or lines like "quartering ankles and wrists" are worth a thousand pictures.
The way you manipulate words and line spacing and capitals just draws the eye onward and leaves so much room for so many more thoughts. If you publish a book of poems, I will buy.
Like a fog on the back of a moment--isn't that just how dreams are. Even the "awake" ones, sometimes, when we spin and spin and try to get to the front of that moment, to be in that moment, like a dog chasing its tail.
I love this one. And I love that that picture stuck with you, a truth which somehow gives the poem weight with the lightness.
Maybe I should submit some. But to whom? This is starting to sound an awful lot like work...
Megs, thank you so much for everything you said here, but especially concerning the spacing. In my mind, the mini-stanzas were like suspended breaths.
I'm glad you were able to "see" this poem, even without the amazing photo. And I appreciate your comment about a book immensely. :)
Charles, that kind of openness to interpretation is important to me. Thanks so much for pointing it out.
Chris, who's putting out this book?? ;)
If there ever is one, you'll be in the Acknowledgements. I realized I passed my two-year blog anniversary earlier in the month. I'm so happy you've been here for it all.
Steve, if you promise to buy 1,000 copies, I'll consider it.
David, me too! It feels like it sometimes, anyway. Thanks so much for the comment. :)
Jennifer, your last sentence struck me. I do think that's what I felt while writing this--a weighted lightness. You're always so perceptive.
For me, even though this photo was part of a series called "Dreamers," it made me think of a moment between dreams. Of a suspended pause. Where perhaps some semblance of control could be touched.
Thanks, Jennifer. :)
Ruth, I'm so, so happy to see you again. I've often wondered how you've been. And I miss your beautiful caves...
Thank you for the very kind words, and for the encouragement. I think you guys are all convincing me!
The poem is perfect and beautiful even without the photo, which of course, is the way it should be. Read without the photo, the imagery suggests the anticipation of a race. With the dreams "quartering" and your controlling the running with your choices. As always, your word choice is beautiful.
There's a quiet eroticism to this poem... the ropes... the whip... a bit of give and take between the laying almost in submission, and the desire to control with that whip. So much said in so few words, every word a snap of the whip in itself. Do you realize the power of what you've written, Sarah? Sometimes, as writers, we are somewhat oblivious to the power of our own words. This was a magnificent "moment" to enter into and exit from in one beat of the heart. Wow!
Karen, I actually thought of your "Crossings" poem after writing this. While they don't appear, at first glance, to have much in common, I felt like this poem was also about an intersection, and a pause.
And yes, I was definitely focused on control. Thank you, Karen, for all your warm words here.
Mark, I was also inspired by your writing for this one. I'm sure you can see that imprint.
And thank you so much for the great link! I spent a good bit of time on the site earlier. I will definitely send something in.
I am very lucky in my friends...
Nevine, I am deeply touched that you experienced this one so palpably. As always, you have captured the tug-of-war, the precarious balance, of what I was trying to conjure.
Thank you for your rare and keen understanding, Nevine. It's a true gift.
15 comments:
You need to start submitting your poems. Don't make me come over there and sit on you.
Wow.
The imagery is vivid and even though I can't see the picture when I'm at work, I don't need it. Sometimes, a few words, one or three or lines like "quartering ankles and wrists" are worth a thousand pictures.
The way you manipulate words and line spacing and capitals just draws the eye onward and leaves so much room for so many more thoughts. If you publish a book of poems, I will buy.
Very good. You always do so well at suggesting images and stories behind the lines.
I also want a book of your poetry.
;-)
I want one too.
That's how I sleep!
Great poem to accompany the image.
So that's not you in the photo? ;)
Like a fog on the back of a moment--isn't that just how dreams are. Even the "awake" ones, sometimes, when we spin and spin and try to get to the front of that moment, to be in that moment, like a dog chasing its tail.
I love this one. And I love that that picture stuck with you, a truth which somehow gives the poem weight with the lightness.
I am still in love with your writing. I think that your poetry would be well accepted. Why don't you try and see? I bet it would be published.
Hugs, Ruth
Steve, yeah, yeah. You're all talk.
Maybe I should submit some. But to whom? This is starting to sound an awful lot like work...
Megs, thank you so much for everything you said here, but especially concerning the spacing. In my mind, the mini-stanzas were like suspended breaths.
I'm glad you were able to "see" this poem, even without the amazing photo. And I appreciate your comment about a book immensely. :)
Charles, that kind of openness to interpretation is important to me. Thanks so much for pointing it out.
Chris, who's putting out this book?? ;)
If there ever is one, you'll be in the Acknowledgements. I realized I passed my two-year blog anniversary earlier in the month. I'm so happy you've been here for it all.
Steve, if you promise to buy 1,000 copies, I'll consider it.
David, me too! It feels like it sometimes, anyway. Thanks so much for the comment. :)
Jennifer, your last sentence struck me. I do think that's what I felt while writing this--a weighted lightness. You're always so perceptive.
For me, even though this photo was part of a series called "Dreamers," it made me think of a moment between dreams. Of a suspended pause. Where perhaps some semblance of control could be touched.
Thanks, Jennifer. :)
Ruth, I'm so, so happy to see you again. I've often wondered how you've been. And I miss your beautiful caves...
Thank you for the very kind words, and for the encouragement. I think you guys are all convincing me!
The poem is perfect and beautiful even without the photo, which of course, is the way it should be. Read without the photo, the imagery suggests the anticipation of a race. With the dreams "quartering" and your controlling the running with your choices. As always, your word choice is beautiful.
http://www.troubadour21.com/
Just for starters Sarah try submitting here.
I loved this and the dream scape now crack that whip and get them ponies running.
There's a quiet eroticism to this poem... the ropes... the whip... a bit of give and take between the laying almost in submission, and the desire to control with that whip. So much said in so few words, every word a snap of the whip in itself. Do you realize the power of what you've written, Sarah? Sometimes, as writers, we are somewhat oblivious to the power of our own words. This was a magnificent "moment" to enter into and exit from in one beat of the heart. Wow!
Nevine
Karen, I actually thought of your "Crossings" poem after writing this. While they don't appear, at first glance, to have much in common, I felt like this poem was also about an intersection, and a pause.
And yes, I was definitely focused on control. Thank you, Karen, for all your warm words here.
Mark, I was also inspired by your writing for this one. I'm sure you can see that imprint.
And thank you so much for the great link! I spent a good bit of time on the site earlier. I will definitely send something in.
I am very lucky in my friends...
Nevine, I am deeply touched that you experienced this one so palpably. As always, you have captured the tug-of-war, the precarious balance, of what I was trying to conjure.
Thank you for your rare and keen understanding, Nevine. It's a true gift.
great simile...laying over the back of a moment like fog
I like how, even in this surrealistic verse, you are still in control of things.
interesting photo - I can see how it kept you rapt!
I loved the ending! Always good to meet a girl with a whip. :P :P
Thats a darn good pic indeed.
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