Thursday, August 14, 2008

Brigadoon



Her feet hung over the blanket’s edge. The grass tickled her ankles.

“Are these clouds even real?” she said.

He claimed her waist with his hand.

“For as long as we’re looking at them,” he said.

“What happens when we’re not?”

“So long, clouds.”

She laced her leg between his thighs, pooling their sweat. Their heat.

“Our clouds,” she said, filling her nose with the sharpness of his skin. Sunspots flared across her vision. Toes cramped, digging into the damp earth.

“We should build a summer home up there.”

“Mm.”

“Call it Brigadoon.”

Her chin rubbed his shoulder, while her hand slipped below his waist. Searching. Coaxing.

Needing.

“Will we have to wait a hundred years between our summer days?” she asked.

“What?”

“Brigadoon . . .”

“Sorry. I’m a little distracted. Again.”

She smiled. “I love it when you can’t think.”

"I know."

Sliding on top of him, she pressed his arms into the ground. Fingernails dividing the taut tendons, muscles. He could slip away, flip her over. But he didn’t.

Yet.

So she moved faster. Loving those hunter’s eyes. Matching their reach. The sun pounded her back. So bright, so bright. She ached to melt. Center out.

“That cow over there. Is watching,” he said.

“Quit pretending. You care.”

“I think he’s—Jesus—judging me.”

“Shut. Up.”

“Our cloud. Would be. Softer.”

“But I like. Hard.”

She placed a hand over his mouth, watching his eyes smear over. Showing him what soft was.

He seized her hips. Rolled her over.

Proving her deep.


The clouds blew by.

They didn't care.

15 comments:

Lena said...

that was brilliant! Just loved it from the beginning till end.. made me smile how beautiful the scene was.

Sarah Hina said...

Thank you, Lena! In a bizarre way, I meant this as a companion piece to my last post. To demonstrate what sex should be. Not taking, but giving, and receiving. A truly shared experience.

I'm glad it made you smile! That's what I was hoping for. :)

Angela said...

oohhhh loveeee!

jason evans said...

Oooo, very nice. :)

But beyond the obvious great things, there's a unique quality in your character interactions that is quintessentially you. A kind of close distance. They're literally touching, but there is a separation. It brings a poignance, and an excitement, at the same time.

That's a distinct draw to your writing.

Sarah Hina said...

Thanks, Angela. :) I'm glad you came by.

Jason, that's an interesting observation. I suppose it's impossible to completely bridge that separation. There is something uniquely wonderful in the masculine/feminine distinction here. But the desire to form something new in the space between--or above--yes, that is breathtakingly human.

And worth writing about. :)

Aine said...

“I think he’s—Jesus—judging me.”

Ha! :)

Yes, a nice piece to follow your previous post. I like how you demonstrate two lovers who are coming together from different energy levels (she's a bit more interested in the moment, at first).

strugglingwriter said...

Very well done Sarah.

Sarah Hina said...

Hee-hee. :) I liked that line too, Aine.

And good point about their differing enthusiasm levels at first. She's clearly the aggressor. But he's easily persuadable. Of course. ;)

Thanks, Paul! It was a fun piece to dive into.

Hotwire said...

a pleasant reprieve from the last (excellent!) post.

Charles Gramlich said...

Very nice. a great glimpse into their love.

Sarah Hina said...

Yes, I needed something uplifting after that one, Hotwire. I'm glad you felt the same.

Thanks, Charles. This little window was brighter than most. ;)

Sheri said...

Well that was a happier version of intimacy then the last intense posting! Both were undeniably YOU - your writing style is very distinct and clear no matter what you write about.

Beth said...

What sex should be ... hmmm, I'm not like that, I don't think. I'm more like sexless. Haha.

Just checking on you as I haven't seen you in a while.

Sarah Hina said...

Thanks, Sheri! Yes, this piece was a relief to write after the last one. And I'm glad to be developing a consistent style that is recognizable to readers. I appreciate your telling me that. :)

I'm going to stop by soon, Beth. I will admit to being a bit behind lately.

aoc gold said...

THE WIND

(Part I)

Who has seen the wind?

Neither I nor you;

But when the leaves hang trembling,

The wind is passing through.

(Part II)

Who has seen the wind?

Neither you nor I;
But when the trees bow down their heads,

The wind is passing by.

~by wow powerleveling